Truths…at least at one point or another.
(A sort of Letter to the Editor, if you will.)
I’m so lonely. I’ve been in this quaint, picturesque, small town for almost three years now.
I do not have one friend.
It’s not as if in the area back where we lived most of our lives I had dozens of friends I went out with, but I certainly had more than where I am now.
With my physical limitations, being a caretaker to my mom, a parent to a Bipolar teen and wife of a hospice chaplain, I cannot make plans and confidently, consistently meet penciled in dates because I hurt so badly one way or another. Back home, if I had to cancel, the people around me knew me and the situations well enough and understood. We just rescheduled. I don’t have that luxury here. I am just so, so lonely. Like crying buckets of tears alone kind of lonely, and I’ve no clue how to better my situation.
Hope you guys are doing well. Thanks for being part of the #bipolaruninvitedblog family. Take care of yourselves and each other when and how you’re able. āā¤š¹
Looking through old photos.
Dreadful, miserable, intolerable, draining, exhausting, depleting, frightening, life-sucking.
All of these words describe my Bipolar occurrences and my chronic illness/pain issues.
What else do these words describe? Reactions to me when I seek help. What’s worse, I experience this in my own home.
Yes, I’m sure I become a lot to listen to because there’s a lot going on; and honestly, I wouldn’t want to listen to me, either. However, I would like to think I would respond on some sort of meaningful level rather than receive a quick platitude and then watch the person I’m talking to go right back to looking at that phone.
I know I would behave differently than what I receive sometimes because I help my son with his issues of Bipolar and anxiety. Yes, he can be a lot. It can be hard, but it’s just what you do.
I don’t get why…..
I guess I don’t even know what else to say.
I will sign off and look at faded, slightly torn photos and wonder if eventually they will tear and sever in two.
Hey, #bipolaruninvited Family!
I’ve been really bad since switching to Cymbalta. I switched due to my neurologist’s request, and my psychiatrist was okay with trying. All had to do with my Fibromyalgia. It was a bust. Really bad. So, i called my psychiatrist and am switching back to Lexapro. ASAP! Score one for the good guys!š
I’m gonna check it out at some point. See if it encapsulates Bipolar Disorder.
It’s getting bad. Very anxious. Very sad. Feel very alone. Crying with spurts of fear.
This is That Day.
I hate these days. The day when I realize I’ve been apathetic and depressed for weeks and months. I don’t know exactly how I missed it. I look back and see that I’ve been sleeping a lot, hurting more than usual, not doing much in the way of arts or crafts, even just sitting and staring. I figured it out today because my cat was sad he wasn’t able to get my attention, and it occurred to me then that I’ve been telling him no a lot lately, that I didn’t want to play or have him in my lap.
Do y’all have something that flags you and waves š©šļø boldly in the air telling you that you’re heading down and fast?
Hey guys! I would like to recommend the documentary, “A Summer in the Cage.”
If you have Bipolar, I’m interested to hear your take. If you don’t have it, you can learn a lot about a friend or family member, maybe even a co-worker.
This documentary is interesting in that it began as something else entirely, and the director met the subject in the course of it. They became friends and agreed the documentary should be about Sam and his Bipolar Disorder instead. Mania and depression are documented. Aggression and hospitalization. Really interesting stuff and depicted well, with brave honesty and truth.
If you do watch, or if you’ve already seen it, please let me know what you think.
I related to Sam in many ways. Additionally, I feel I would’ve learned a great deal about the disorder if I didn’t already have it.