To Keep You Warm (a poem sharing my insides)

To Keep You Warm

I got your call while I was writing
You forgot something important for work again
You tell me that what I do isn’t work
So now I shut off my computer and rush again.

Back at home later, working on my novel
Getting in the flow and then
You yell it’s not even a real job
Why is the damn supper late again.

The local bars, they know you well
And when you came in late tonight
With perfume and lipstick on your collar
Relief washes over me because I never do that kinda stuff right.
(And now the night doesn’t end in a fight.)

If the living room’s not perfect
The kitchen not a hundred percent clean
If anywhere you can see a bit of dust
I can expect you to be very mean.

With kicks to the stomach and fists to my sides
Bruises quickly form of black and blue
In the haze I think how stupid
My friends are to want a guy like you.
(And I think, that anybody’s better than you.)

I love cats, so you chose a dog
Now he lives on a chain
All alone in the yard
And I stare at him and think
You must enjoy inflicting pain.
(Don’t worry pup, I’ll loosen that chain.)

You stole parts of me
Broke me from a rocky start
I gave you whatever you asked
Jagged pieces of my shredded heart.

I’m singed and burned
While you’ve endured no harm
I keep setting myself on fire
Just to keep you warm.

By @jenm_curry
~ jmcwriting 2021

#abuse #poetry #words #writing #storytelling