Month: June 2018

WATCH OR AVOID

Watch or Avoid – Psych Suspense Dilemma ~ 6.30.18

I am curious if you guys with mental health issues (or if you have a family member or friend struggling) have to be careful watching psychological suspense?

I’m so intrigued by the trailer for the film Unsane. But I just never know if what I want to watch will be a great film for thought, processing and discussion, or just send me right over the edge.

Therefore, I usually avoid watching movies like this.

What about y’all?

To Lock or Unlock

TO LOCK OR UNLOCK ~ 6.26.18

Many of us erect these walls to protect ourselves, whether consciously or subconsciously. Our brains are amazing in their ability to block memories. Must we always go charging to tear down those walls, or find the keys that will unlock what’s hidden in our minds? Sometimes, shouldn’t things just stay buried in the past?

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WAIT TO HEAR HOPE TO HELP

Wait to Hear ~ 6.24.18

One thing I’m discovering with having joined an online support group and writing this blog is the power of friendship and knowing you’re not alone. Unfortunately, with these mental illness issues, we lose every day people and friends, not just celebrities that are featured in the news.

I lost a dear friend a year or so back. One friend has been considering suicide, and another has just cut off online presence, which is strange for her and unnerving based on the last conversations we’ve had.

I wait to hear and hope to help.

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Have any of you been through this, and how were you able to offer support?

Treat yourselves well, guys.💖💛

(photo credit: R.I.T)

Letters to Ghosts

LETTERS TO GHOSTS ~ 6.24.18

So, I’ve resumed therapy and so far, I like the counselor. However, with my dad having passed away in ’92, digging into some stuff I’ve discovered this past year is proving draining and is most certainly affecting me. I feel poorly. Emotionally, I mean.

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(Awaiting therapy appointment)

Not even poorly, really. More like sad… distracted… frustrated… apathetic at times.

Physically, I’m still feeling some better overall, and that’s huge. I can do so much more – in helping run the household, as well as having fun evenings out.

Received a check from Social Security for back pay for student benefits, and the approval and timing is a blessing. God always comes through for me. For my family.

Anyway, next assignment, write a letter to Dad.

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Yikes.

Have any of you written to ghosts of the past?

How I Feel

HOW I FEEL ~ 6.15.18

Having an extremely rough time of it. I feel quite alone. I did want to check in and share that simply because this blog is supposed to relay the ups and downs of Bipolar. I feel alone, abandoned, ignored, without any value, and as though I’ve nothing to contribute. I know the facts are this is not true, but I still *feel* these emotions just now. Take care of yourselves, folks. ✌

TWO HOURS LATER –

Trying to fight back against this depression and the intrusive, harmful thoughts. I had said earlier that I was going to take a break from talking and an online presence, but I don’t need to isolate – whether online or in day to day living. Tomorrow, the family is going to take my husband out to eat for Father’s Day. I’m going to try to get to an evening church service on Sunday night, and set up something on MeetUp. I appreciate any support. I’m trying.

Energy Zap

Rough day. Physically hurting and feeling very down on myself. More of things I wouldn’t say to others but am okay saying to myself, putting myself down. Depression and other mental illnesses lie and manipulate. I know that as a fact, just like reading from a textbook. Today, however, I don’t *feel* it. These days drain the energy, to be sure. Be good to yourselves.